


Hold Me As We Fall

by Sushifer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, i made myself really sad, this is a sad story, why did i want to write an end of the world au anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:10:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3660114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sushifer/pseuds/Sushifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're dying today, and so is Lexa.<br/>You want to be with her for the little time you have left.</p><p>or </p><p>End of the world AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me As We Fall

**Author's Note:**

> There was a storm the other night and I had the idea to write this. Why do I keep hurting myself?

1. 

When you wake up, the sky is coal grey. From your appartment, you can hear the loud haunting whistle of the wind as it slips through the trees of the street. You guess a storm is coming and decide to go grocery shopping before it starts pouring.

When you step out of your building, a long shiver traces its way down your spine: you didn't expect it to be so cold outside. There's steam coming out of your mouth every time you let out a breath.

You tighten your jacket and hurry to the shop.

 

2.

You're back home, staring outside the window.

The clouds are much thicker and darker, like a sky of smoke. It's raining now, and it's nothing like you've ever seen before: perpendicular lines fall and flood the avenue beneath you, soaking the window pane, making it hard for you to distinguish anything. Cars get less and less frequent, and you don't see anyone on the sidewalk: you know why. You've turned the TV on, and they're telling people to remain at home and to stay away from the windows, because the storm is qualified as "one of the most powerful of the last two centuries".

You want to paint it.

 

3.

You hear a loud knock.

You open the door to your flat and widen your eyes. There she is, completely drenched. Her clothes stick to her skin and you can't help but glimpse through her almost transparent shirt. Her hair usually so curly and wild now falls sadly on her shoulders, water dripping from the tips.

"What are you doing here?" You ask abruptly, pulling her into the appartment and closing the door behind her. "It's dangerous out there!"

"I wanted to see you." She breathes, concern written all over her face. "I know you don't like storms."

You look at her then. Her eyes are fixed into yours, and you smile softly.

"Okay." You say. She takes a step closer and gently kisses you, locking her hands behind the small of your back as thunder resonates outside. You ignore how it seems like the sky is being ripped apart and focus on her familiar scent, a mix of flowers, soap and coffee.

She smells like home.

 

4. 

You've both changed into something more comfortable. You let her borrow your favourite shirt, because you like it when she wears your clothes. It looks way better on her anyway.

You're now snuggled up on the couch. You're lying on top of her, your head resting against her heart. She has her arms wrapped around your shoulders, distractedly playing with your hair.

You're watching TV. She changed the channel half an hour ago, settling for cartoons. They're for children, and you know how much she hates them, but the news kept showing the terrible disasters caused by the storm and she couldn't stand the worried look on your face.

You jump everytime you hear thunder.

You freeze everytime the room flickers as a lightning strikes again.

She kisses your head and tightens her hold around you.

 

5. 

It's the middle of the afternoon, and it's as dark as midnight.

You're scared. The TV froze a few minutes ago and you wonder how much time it will take for the power to completely go out.

Your cell phone rings, startling you. Lexa rubs her thumb against your palm as you pick up.

"Hello?"

"Clarke?"

"Dad? What is-"

"Clarke, are you safe?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm home."

"Whatever happens, don't leave your flat."

You frown. "What's going on, Dad?"

"It's today. Today is the day, Clarke." You freeze and Lexa scoots closer to you, pressing her ear to the other side of the phone as your father talks again. "I'm stuck outside." He says, and all the air leaves your lungs. Lexa widens her eyes.

You whisper. "What?"

"I'm stuck, Clarke. There was a flooding and a cable fell into the water. It's completely electrified. I'm holding onto a street light, but I won't be able to stay like this for long." He marks a pause. "I love you honey."

Everything is a blur after that.

You remember a loud sizzling sound on the other line.

You remember how you stopped breathing and dropped your phone on the ground.

You remember crying, screaming so hard you felt like blood was going to come out of your mouth.

You remember Lexa holding you, grasping onto you as you sobbed into her shoulder.

You remember the kisses she planted in the crook of your neck and the loving and apologizing words she whispered in your ear as you fell asleep in her arms.

 

6. 

You wake up two hours later.

The room is plunged into total darkness, except for a flickering candle on the table. Lexa is sitting next to you, reading a book. When she realizes you're awake, she closes the volume.

"Hi." She whispers sadly. You stare at her eyes, shining with the dim lightning of the candle.

She's so beautiful.

"Why did you let me sleep?" Your voice is hoarse. You swallow the lump in your thoat. "We don't have much time."

"I know." She scoots closer and interwines your fingers. "But you broke down, Clarke. You needed to rest."

Tears burn your eyes and you shake your father out of your thoughts.

You'll soon join him anyway.

  
"I love you." You say to her, your voice barely a whisper.

"Not yet." She cuts, shaking her head. She clenches her jaw. "We don't say it yet."

You look at your hands joined together on your knee and nod.

"Are you hungry?" She asks. "I'm going to get something to eat. Stay here." She adds, kissing your cheek before leaving the room.

She comes back a few minutes later with enough food for the entire neighbourhood. Crisps, biscuits, chocolate, fruits, ham, cheese, bread, even pickles. She brings drinks too, juices, sodas and you're sure there's booze as well.

"Did you just rob my entire kitchen?" You ask.

"I want this meal to be fabulous."

You feel pain in your chest because you know she meant to say "our last meal."

 

7. 

You don't think you've ever eaten that much in your entire life.

Both of you are laid out on the floor, legs tangled together. You're surrounded by empty packages and bottles and you're surprised Lexa hasn't cleaned anything yet. She usually hates mess.

But today is not exactly an usual day, you think.

You roll towards her and prop yourself up with your elbows, staring at her.

"You're so beautiful." You breathe after a minute. She smiles and lifts her hand to put a blonde strand of hair behind your ear, before caressing your cheek. She carefully pulls you down and kisses you.

It's slow, at first, and it almost looks like she's scared she's going to break you. You hum against her lips and smooth her collarbone with your thumb. You stay like this for a while, lovingly pecking each other's lips.

Then, she kisses you harder. Her hands roam over your back, and she pulls you closer to her. Soon it's all tongues and teeth and bites and groans.

You're hungry. Clothes fly across the room and you lose yourselves to each other.

Your movements speak a language of love, passion and sadness, and, for a little while, the only thunder you hear is the symphony of your heartbeats.

 

8. 

She fell asleep in your arms.

You want to wake her, because _you don't have much time_ , but she looks so so so peaceful and, for a moment, it makes you forget the terrible things that have happened tonight.

You're so glad she's here. You wouldn't have dreamed of a better way to go.

A knock on the door makes you jump, snatching you away from your thoughts. Lexa feels the movement and opens her eyes, looking at you with concern.

"Clarke? What's wrong?"

"Someone's here."

She sits up and gathers your clothes. You both dress and, as Lexa picks up the candle, you walk through the room and open the door. There's a young man holding himself up, his hands on his knees. When he hears you, he lifts his head.

"Thank god." He says. "I need help."

You're about to tell him to fuck off. You don't want to help anyone right now, you've spent your entire life doing that.

You're _dying_ today, and so is Lexa.  


You want to be with her for the little time you have left.  


But you notice the blood on the man's face and hands, and how his greasy hair sticks to the huge cut on his forehead.

"Please." He begs. "My friend is down there. She's stuck."

You hesitate, but Lexa takes your hand and you follow the man downstairs. The whole ground floor is flooded. 

"There." He says, opening the front door of the building and stepping outside. You can feel the freezing atmosphere from where you're standing.

You remember what your father said. _"Whatever happens, don't leave your flat."_

Lexa looks at you. You clench your jaw.

Fuck it. You're going to die anyway.

Despite the darkness, you can have a catch sight of your surroundings. The entire avenue looks like it has been blown up, there are cars and building facades that have been crushed by the fallen trees of the avenue. Every few seconds, the lights of one of the cars flickers and enlighten the street. You have to put your hand over your face as the rain slaps your skin and you grip Lexa's arm because the wind is so strong you think she might fly away.

The guy is kneeling down next to someone.

A girl.

Her leg is stuck under debrits that seem to have tumbled from the roof, and you see that she's doing her best to hide the pain she's feeling, biting her lip so hard you glimpse blood.

"Murphy, you ass." She hisses. "Get me out of this thing."

Lexa is already by her side, helping the guy as he tries to push the huge fragments of concrete off her bleeding leg.

"Clarke." She calls. "Go back inside, prepare disinfectant and bandages."

You don't want to leave Lexa, your precious, beautiful Lexa, outside in the storm. But you nod anyway, and she smiles at you before going back to the girl's leg who is crying out in pain. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Lexa and Murphy come back, carrying the girl who seems on the edge of passing out. You gulp when you see the bloody trail they leave behind them. They lay the girl down on the couch.

"Thank you." She breathes, shuddering.

It's getting very cold inside. You cover her with a blanket.

"I'm going to clean your leg now." You tell her. You look at the wound that go from her heel to her knee. "This is going to hurt."

She lets out a shaky laugh. "Bring it, blondie."

 

9.  
You're suprised she doesn't lose consciousness.

She doesn't even yell. She just clenches her teeth and she keeps insulting that Murphy guy as you clean her wound, Lexa holding the candle close so you can see what you're doing.

"You fucking asshole." The girl hisses at him as you take a sliver of metal out of her leg. You glance at Murphy, but he's smiling.

"We often call each other like that." He tells you.

"Are you together?" You ask, eyebrows knitted together as you try to stop the bleeding.

The girl lets out a laugh that looks a lot like a cry of pain. " _Ew_. I'm not dating this thing."

"We're just friends." He says, poking her cheek.

Lexa asks them what they were doing outside and Murphy explains that they had taken shelter in the hall of the building when the storm had started getting stronger.

He gestures to his friend. "But Raven, as usual, couldn't stay still for a minute. She probably believed she could master the elements, so she left."

"I didn't want to be in this nasty old rusty place." She mutters, her jaw clenched as you wrap the bandage around her leg.

"At least you're lucky, you're lying on a brand new couch." You say with a soft voice and she laughs for real, this time.

She is strong. Anyone in her situation would be crying out in pain right now.

Suddenly, the ground starts shaking underneath you. Lexa grasps your arm and pulls you close, keeping you from falling as you hold onto the hem of her shirt. Murphy grips the armrest of the couch and Raven squeezes her eyes shut, biting her fist as the earthquake makes her leg jerk.

The TV crashes on the floor, soon followed by your favourite vase and the books on the shelf. You hear loud bangs in the kitchen and guess that most of the furniture is tumbling down.

  
After what feels like an eternity, it stops.

  
You don't let go of Lexa and keep your face in the crook of her neck. You hear Murphy move. A few seconds later, his voice resonates in the room.

"I've always thought the earth was going to explode. I guess it will just crumble down.

Outside, an enormous crevasse splits the city in two.

 

10. 

It's freezing now.

You've brought more blankets, but it's not enough. Lexa, wearing two of your sweaters, is glued to you under the covers. She's shaking like a leaf. You take her hands, which are now almost purple from the cold, and rub them between your palms. Murphy is sitting next to the couch, holding his knees, and he glances at his friend every two seconds to make sure she's okay.

"You guys are really cute." Raven says, looking at you through semi-closed eyelids.

You're almost certain you're blushing. You take a look at Lexa, but her skin tone is more blue than red. She's smiling though.

"How long have you been together?" Raven continues. Her voice is weak and you know she's still in pain.

"Two years." You murmur.

"We were going to move in together." Lexa whispers next to you and you feel her heart break. You kiss her shoulder as you see a tear rolling down her cheek. Murphy looks at you, his eyes full of sorrow.

  
"Today's a bitch." Raven says bitterly.

 

11. 

You're playing truth and dare now. None of you chooses dare because you're too cold and tired to move. Every few minutes, the floor shakes again, and you see buildings collapsing outside.

  
You just keep playing.

  
"What's your favourite thing about Raven?" Lexa asks Murphy.

He scrunches up his nose. "Nothing."

"She's your best friend." You frown.

"Nothing." He repeats.

"I'm too perfect, he's jealous of me." Raven mutters, her mouth hidden by the blanket. She looks at Lexa. "Your turn. What's your favourite thing about Clarke?"

She remains silent for a moment, staring at you.

"Your heart." She whispers. "It's pure. You care about everyone, everywhere, no matter what. You're always nice. You always smile. I'm always cold and silent, and you're this literal sunshine." Her voice breaks and you want to cry. "I'm just so glad I found you."

You're usually the one who's good with words. But right now, you can't breathe. 

"I'm so glad you found me." You simply say. 

 

12. 

You would move in together in a week. You would put her clothes in your closet, and soon you wouldn't be able to make a difference between what's yours and what's hers.

You would adopt a kitten. You prefer dogs, but you know Lexa doesn't like them very much. She's a cat person. You would adopt a kitten, and you would let her choose the name.

You would fall asleep in each other's arms, and wake up with your limbs tangled together. You would tickle her sides until she decides to get up, and on the days she wouldn't, you'd bring her breakfast in bed.

You'd go for walks in the city on saturday afternoons, and make love on sunday mornings. 

You would ask her to marry you, eventually. Maybe she would ask first. You'd both say yes anyway, and you'd get married in her hometown, because you know how much she misses it. You would invite all of your friends, hell, you would even invite Raven and Murphy. You would go on a honeymoon in Europe and visit every capital. Lexa loves Europe. She went once when she was young, and she always talks about it, from Paris and Rome to Budapest and Athens. You want her to have new memories of these places, with you in it.

She would become one of the best lawyers of the country, and you would be a renowded artist. The oddest couple of the year.

You would probably have a child someday. You would wait for her to talk about it, because you don't want to pressure her into doing something she's not comfortable with. You would adopt a little boy from another country, and you would name him Jake, after your father.

You would grow old together.

And you would die in a long, _long_ time.

 

Raven's right, today's a bitch.

 

13. 

The candle's out and you're plunged into total darkness. Raven and Murphy haven't said anything in the last twenty minutes. You don't know if they fell asleep.

Maybe they froze to death.

You're going to die.

Outside, it seems like hell is coming alive. Thunder is so loud it makes the floor shake, lightning strikes every second, the earth hasn't stopped trembling. It looks like a giant shadow is swallowing the entire planet. You hear the cracks of the concrete walls of your living room and you know that the entire building is going to collapse soon.

You're going to die.

Three minutes. Five, if you're lucky.

Your hear Lexa's slow breathing next to you. You're still clutching her hand, but it's not enough, you need to get closer to her. You remove the blanket from your shoulders, ignoring how it feels like drowning in a frozen lake, and you straddle her hips. She freezes but relaxes immediately as you put your arms around her neck. As she faintly caresses your back, you put your lips close to her ear.

"Can I say it now?" You whisper.

She tightens her hold around you, and your two bodies are pressed together. You hear a broken sob coming out of her mouth and you kiss her, squeezing your eyes shut as your heart shatters.

She doesn't kiss back, she just cries against your lips, and you feel tears burning your cold skin.

"I love you." She whimpers, breaking the kiss and hiding her face the crook of your neck. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

You press your cheek to her temple.

  
"I love you too." You repeat, over and over.

 

14. 

The ground opens. You hold your breath and fall together. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> (◕‿◕✿)  
> I'm really sorry. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr!  
> hedaclarks.tumblr.com


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